Tuesday, March 07, 2006

A message from Bill O'Reilly concerning Yanni's arrest.

"Talking Points: Further proof the liberal media is out to get us? The persecution of my good friend and fellow fascist, Yanni. I was there that day and saw what REALLY happened. Let's just say it involved rope, lubricant, a relaxing keyboard solo, and her consent. Yanni...guy's just been down on his luck since he went from 'stache to goatee/beard. Conservative new age composer looks like a gangsta and all the sudden the liberal pinkos have to hype this thing up like he killed the bitch. If Sarah Silverman or Ralph Nader had a bunch of facial hair, do you think they'd make a big deal of that? Most people 18-35 don't even know who Ralph Nader is. And no, I'm not including reefer-smoking, devil-worshipping "college students." Fuckin' pussies. We need another 'Nam is what we need. Or an Iran-Contra, only instead of guns we send godless commies with names like Conor who wear more makeup than their girlfriends, who in turn look like guys, with bombs strapped to their puny, hairless little chests. Or better yet, drop them from an airplane without parachutes directly above the jailhouse in Manalapan, Florida, to bust out our good friend and fellow cigar-munching, tantric-sex-having, pinko-punching, queer-bashing, racist, sexist, doesn't-go-down-on-his-girlfriend-but-makes-her-give-him-head-even-if-he's-gassy conservative new age maniac, John Yanni Christopher. Perhaps I'll have to reform the "Stop acting like you enjoy buttfucking me, O'Reilly. Ann Coulter can see from your flacid penis and painted toenails that you are not a satisfying sex partner for Ann Coulter. If only Joe McCarthy were still alive. You are so Gay!"-team, with master-of-disguise Michael Bolton, alto-sax-weilding sex fiend Kenny G(orelick), and "Wonder(which one is the bottom) Twins", Hall & Oates. Seal the borders! Life begins at conception! I assrape myself with a broom handle. Hilary Clinton is the devil! There are cameras in our TV sets! Martin Luther King was a commie! Abraham Lincoln was a commie! Karl Marx, however, wasn't. He was actually a conservative, smeared by the Al Frankens of this world and robbed of his good name, just like Joe McCarthy. Ann Coulter tossed my salad. Afterwards, we ate it with some excellent Paul Newman (fucking commie)(tasty shit, though) Ranch dressing and shared a nice Chianti. Then she licked my asshole. Then Jonathan came in and shot her in the fucking head. What a pinko jerk. Afterwards, I mounted her corpse for a couple of hours while stopping occasionally to drown adorable little puppies in the bathtub. Stop sniffling, you anti-American, puppies don't have souls. Then an ad came on for "Brokeback Mountain." Fucking disgusting. Trying to turn our kids into homos and our homos into AIDS-spraying SUPER-HOMOS, with purple hair and sequined clothes and pink skin pinker than the pinkest asshole of all the little altar-boys that have ever knelt to Jesus (hail Mary) before a priest. Luckily, I had already blown my load on a pile of dead babies. No, I'm not pro-choice, idiots. They were BLACK babies, not REAL babies. Duh! SHUT UP, YOU SECULARISTS! IF YOU DON'T CELEBRATE RAPING AND MURDERING BLACK CHILDREN, YOU HATE CHRISTMAS. CHRISTMAS MAKES CHILDREN...REAL CHILDREN...YOU KNOW, UPPER MIDDLE CLASS WHITE CHILDREN...HAPPY. They probably would have grown up to be gangster rappers anyways, like Will Smith and Sir Mixalot and the Wang Chung Clan. Society made me this way. Priests fingered MY cute little butt at a young age. Stop me before I kill again. Kenny G gives great head. THE ACLU SUPPORTS "GAY" PEOPLE?!? Tell them to stop pushing that subversive sodomite agenda on us real Americans. I am NOT a member of NAMBLA. I am Secretary of Conservative Talk Show Hosts who Act Disgusted by "Perverse" sexual behaviors like homosexuality and Sodomy, but Secretly Enjoy Fucking Young Boys in Thailand. Now onto the Most Ridiculous Item of the Day..."- Bill O' Reilly

Article here. Secularist scum.

Butthole Surfers "To Parter"


Anonymous Joey Headset said...


3:11 PM  
Blogger No Frontin' said...

"Incurable paranoiac" is probably my favorite lyric ever uttered by the Japanese chick from Blonde Redhead. Marry me?

9:54 AM  

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